In 2024, my husband and I left our families and jobs in Australia to pursue God’s call to South Asia, and in particular to support, encourage, and build up other Christians in that region. As part of that time away, we were connected with a pastor in Nepal and spent a fortnight assisting with his mission work in remote areas. We were suddenly involved with Christians who lived in quite extreme poverty, especially in the mountain regions which are difficult to access. People living in these regions have to walk for days to reach a market, often don’t have safe drinking water, and during bad weather can be totally isolated from towns, schools and medical clinics. We also heard many stories of children who are orphans or who have been abandoned by one or both parents. There are also many children whose families are so poor they cannot afford to take care of them or educate them. And yet the people living in these circumstances were so generous to us when we visited them, providing us food and places to sleep and welcoming us into their homes.
It was good to trust the pastor we were travelling with who often encouraged us to value what we were giving spiritually rather than financially.
All of this was confronting for both my husband and I, but it particularly affected me. While I have always known I had a privileged life, it is another thing to experience the reality of it. During our time in Nepal, I became aware that my thoughts were often consumed by money. When people were generously hosting us I would tally the likely costs of the food, water, and electricity (if they had any) that we were consuming, and feel that we ought to compensate people for being a burden to them. It was good to trust the pastor we were travelling with who often encouraged us to value what we were giving spiritually rather than financially. However, on some occasions he agreed with our desire to give money, and at those times he encouraged us to give generously. Humanly, this felt confusing to me because it was not logical nor did it seem to be based on the person’s needs, but we appreciated the pastor’s sensitivity in each situation.
Over time and after many conversations with my husband, I realised that I was coming from a place of human sympathy instead of Godly love, wanting to do the ‘right’ thing and most importantly not wanting to be seen to be uncaring, ungenerous, or unaware. By wanting to ‘compensate’ people, I was reducing our fellowship to a transaction — a fee for service. But the only reason we were staying, eating, and spending time with these people was because of our shared love of God. We went to Nepal wanting to build up the body of Christ in whatever way we could and it was a privilege to spend time with our fellow believers. Any financial giving or tithing should also be motivated by the same thing — a love of God and a desire to build up His body.
I am so limited, yet God is all-knowing. Only He can see the full reality and only He can know people’s hearts.
I saw how my own standards are fickle and fleeting. My generosity could be impacted by how much I enjoyed a person or by my assessment of their needs based on a short visit — which may not be the full picture. It was good to realise that I am so limited, yet God is all-knowing. Only He can see the full reality and only He can know people’s hearts. It was actually arrogant of me to think that I could judge what is best or what others need. “God IS love” and His ways are perfect, so the only way for me to truly love and give to others is through Him (1 John 4:16).
During this time I was reminded of a section of the ‘My Utmost For His Highest’ daily devotional for October 26, which eloquently articulates what I had to learn during our time in Nepal:
The great danger is in getting so wrapped up in people’s needs that our sympathy drowns out God’s call and overwhelms the meaning of being sent by Jesus. Humanity’s needs are so enormous, and the conditions of human life so perplexing, that every power of mind falters and fails when confronted with them. It’s easy to forget that the great reason for the missionary enterprise isn’t educating people or meeting their needs but first and foremost obeying the command of Jesus Christ. “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19).
Seeing the difference between human sympathy and Godly giving allowed me to relax and genuinely enjoy our times of fellowship in Nepal. It also meant that when my husband and I felt to give financial or other gifts to people, it could be an expression of God’s love to them through us, rather than an expression of my sympathy for their situation. It also freed us to be generous in the way Jesus spoke about in Matthew 10:8, as we weren’t trying to meet a particular need but just wanted to freely give.
– Emma Kostas
